I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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