I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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