What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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