sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Less talking, more tequila
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
