I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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