you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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