Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize