and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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