did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
