I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
