Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
