Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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