His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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