yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
