WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
