just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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