your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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