I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I am mentally ready for anal.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
