what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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