i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
