So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
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you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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