I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
