She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
