Operation Purity has been aborted
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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