How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
