i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
