5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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