The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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