I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
