So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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