ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
