If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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