If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize