the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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