when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
