So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
