She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
