it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
