Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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