I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think I sprained my soul last night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
