32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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