Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.