You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
