I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
