so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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