Swine flu. Run for my life!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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