she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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