Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
