Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
