Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
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I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
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He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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