When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
