I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
