i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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