I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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