I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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