You work out of a Hotel?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
