Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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